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- 2 Chapter 1: Call a doctor! I just stubbed my heart!
- 3 Chapter 2:The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
- 4 Chapter 3: You call that a dragons horde?
- 5 Chapter 4: It's only a flesh wound! =
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Summary::The world of D&D is weird, there's just no way around it, this book attempts to fix it where I can and explain it where I can't.
This supplement for the D&D game presents: Existential Dread!
Chapter 1: Call a doctor! I just stubbed my heart![edit | edit source]
Fighting large creatures in melee is weird, killing it by shooting arrow into it's head or frying it's brains with a spell I can understand, but colossal creatures that all you can reach with a sword is their toe yet somehow fighters can still manage to kill creatures 64 ft. or taller by stabbing them in their toes. Er, what the heck is that about? If you've ever seen the third LotR film (who hasn't) then you should remember when Legolas climbed up the elephants head and killed it, yet if you were to wast the precious turns necessary to do so they would gain no benefit, making it more feasible to stab it's big toe till it dies, despite the fact that killing something by stabbing it in it's big toe with a object the size of a pin in relation to it is completely impossible. Therefor:
Solution 1: You're standing on my heart, no literally.[edit | edit source]
Everyone in the world of D&D has all their important organs in their toes. This is incredibly stupid but requires no work to implement, just be ready for it when your players start taking called shots at someone big toe.
Solution 2: Shadow of the Colossal[edit | edit source]
In order to damage something hug or larger you must first climb to its head striking anywhere else is ineffective, to do so you must take two a full-round action to clamber up it and make a DC 15 climb check each round, to make this balanced however stabbing something from its head is treated as a automatic critical hit and you don't need to roll to hit, the creature you're climbing takes a -2 on rolls to hit you and whenever it misses it strikes itself instead but it can also attempt to shake you free as a standard action, rolling a grapple check versus your climb check that round throwing you off if it succeeds. For every size larger than huge the creature you're climbing is you must make a additional climb check to reach its vitals but gain a cumulative +2 on all climb checks to do so.
Solution 3: Buy a bow[edit | edit source]
Not really much else to say is there..............
Chapter 2:The vorpal blade went snicker-snack![edit | edit source]
Magic items are weird, or more accurately buying them is weird, its fun to imagine magical emporiums own by gnome merchants where you come in and try out magic blades on target dummies, but it just doesn't work like that, it takes high level mages to craft high stuff, and those mages would have to adventure constantly to earn the xp to stay high level mages. Therefor:
Solution 1: DYI[edit | edit source]
you cant buy items worth more than 1,000 gold, but you can make them, any player, whether or not he has the needed craft feat or the crafting prerequisites for the item can create a magic item using materials equal to its full cost and no xp, getting the feat just means you can make it cheaper but must meet more requirements. This means that a fighter can craft his own blade and a rogue can make himself a invisibility ring. To kill two birds in one stone lets also throw the craftsmen of the world a bone. Anyone with ranks in a related Craft skill equal to the caster level required for a craft feat +3 can take that feat without needing to meet the prerequisites for the feat or to craft the related magic items (Note that alchemy is the related craft skill for Brew Potion).
Solution 2: Ancient Relics[edit | edit source]
There are magic items shops and they do have massive selections of incredibly expensive items, but nobody actually makes them, they're ancient relics the shop owners pay adventurers to bring in by the ton. The explanation for this is simple, thousands of years ago there was more magic in the world and creating magic items and artifacts was easier to the point where common soldiers waved +1 shields and although a good deal of these item's have ran down over the ages enough of them remain for shops to make a profit.
Chapter 3: You call that a dragons horde?[edit | edit source]
Has anyone noticed that dragons these days are dead broke? Everyone's heard about how dragons sleep on beds of gold but in D&D they're lucky to have enough for a pillow, which when you think about it is just wrong, if you kill a dragon you should spend the next week carting his treasure off. Therefor:
Solution 1: Death and Taxes[edit | edit source]
Dragons DO have a bed of gold, maybe two, but the governments knows it as well and have set laws so that all gold goes to them and you only get a small bounty, (the amount of gold you would normally get for slaying a dragon) the problems with this are twofold though, for a start players HATE being cheated and that is exactly what this will look like to them (and they'd be pretty much right) and worse yet they may try to keep the gold. This however is easily remedied, dragons are magical creatures by nature and anything they spend 50% of the day sleeping on is going to be effected, making dragons gold recognizable by any merchant anywhere and if they sell it on the black market they'll be gouged right back to where they started. If your players do manage to sell of the gold for full price, then there is a solution, force them into a couple of adventures set off by their sale of the gold and don't give them a copper for it until they're back on the wealth by level chart.
Solution 2: Fools Gold[edit | edit source]
This solution is even simpler, dragons sleep on a bed of gold coins all right, but they're not PURE gold, they're a magically combined alloy of brass and a tiny percentage of gold that results in a coin that looks like gold but has a spark of magic in it as well, resulting in a currency even more attractive to dragons then gold, but worth somewhere around five copper pieces meaning a average dragon has enough for a bed, a sofa AND a guest bed.
Chapter 4: It's only a flesh wound! =[edit | edit source]
Okay hit points are outright stupid, if their is a sword in your gut, I don't care how high level you are, you're dead. Therefor:
Solution 1: I am legend (the none-lame kind)[edit | edit source]
D&D is a magical game and that magic seems to be related to belief in some way if the gods are any indication, so the reason the PCs have ridiculous powers and abilities is people believe they do, in short hit points are a direct manifestation of the heroes legend keeping them alive.